all my greatest fears have come to pass. the ultimate abandonment, that shock of actual heartache.
-there is no remedy for, it will always hurt exactly the same.
and in the wake of this sadness i find my cage sufficiently rattled.
like the mouse in the maze treated to negative re enforcement.
my stomach is eating itself with anticipation of the next disaster.
i dare not even explore those dark crevices, pulsing around me begging my attention.
i stew, then i rot.
but i keep my foul wits about me.
i have stepped back far enough to know, that there is no reprieve.
there is no wave to wash over me and make me clean.
to make me how i used to be.
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